Role of men and woman in a relationship
I recently read an article where a woman proclaimed she was in a controlling relationship and in order to get out of this relationship she had to divorce GOD. I searched for the article to link to this post, but I was unable to find it. In the article the woman explained that it was GOD that was controlling not only her, but her husband, and her children through her husband. She went on to described that her and her husband tried to live the perfect marriage according to the bible: the husband head of the family and final decision maker; her and her children submissive to him and followed his rules unquestionably.
The article also described their lifestyle. They disassociated themselves from the world and only associated themselves with other like minded religious families. They home schooled. Did not use banks. Did not trust the government. Basically, they lived very sheltered lives.
These type of stories bother me. One these people did not live by scripture and lived by their own law. Their law, not Christ, controlled them. Furthermore, people who read this article who are not Christian will focus on the fact she blames GOD for her husbands controlling behavior despite it was not GOD, but her husband. In fact, because she provides excuses for his actions shows she is still not fully out of his controlling grip. Those who have been controlled will give excuses for people who are controlling them as a way to cope and rationalize the control.
What is the role of men and woman in a christian relationship?
To answer this you have to first define what is love according to the bible? Throughout the bible Love is described as selflessness, kindness, and humility. Love is not controlling and love does not cause fear or pain.
Corinthians 13:4-8
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trust, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."
Ephesians 4:2
"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love"
1 John 4:7
"Dear Friends, let us love one another, for love comes from GOD. Everyone who loves has born of GOD and knows GOD"
Romans 13:10
"Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law"
Now that we know what love is and the context it is used in the bible it easy to explain the roles man and woman have in the relationship.
First, in a Christian relationship it is ideal that we do not yoke with unbelievers [Corinthians 6:14]. Does this mean we are not to associate ourselves with non Christians? No. In fact, unlike the article I read, we are to go out into the world and proclaim the word [Mark 16:15]. To hide from the world goes against what we are commanded to do. For an ideal and successful relationship both should be believers. Men are commanded in Corinthians 16:13 "Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, and be strong".
Ephesians 5:21-33
"Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up to her"
This passage describes almost perfectly the role of men and woman in a Christian relationship. We are a body with men as the head and the woman as the body. Similarly, Christ is the head of the church and we believers are his body. With out a head the body cannot function. Likewise, a head without a body is not a being. Both must work in unity and submit to one another and to our lord Christ. Furthermore, men are commanded to love his wife. As we learned love is selfless, humble, and kind.
If a man and a woman are in a true Christian relationship neither will be abusive or controlling. They will work in unity and as a cohesive body of Christ. Sadly, those who read that article who are not believers and are looking for an excuse to further separate themselves from Christ will use that article to promote their argument no matter how erroneous it is.
